Want to know how Theseus escaped the Minotaur Maze? After all, killing the monster is just half the battle.
The story of Theseus in the Minotaur Maze is one of the most captivating tales from Greek mythology, embodying themes of adventure, heroism, and cunning. Let me break it down for you, Regina George style, because honestly, it’s kind of a big deal.
Oh my gods, Buckle up, because this tea is scalding, and it’s all about Theseus, our supposed hero, and his scandalous love life that’s more twisted than the Labyrinth itself.
After learning all these dramatic details, you can tell everyone who rescued the rescuer.
So, gather around because you’re not going to believe this one. This post is all about Theseus, our so-called hero, and how he totally played Princess Ariadne. Yeah, the one who basically handed him his victory on a silver platter. Let’s spill the tea, ancient Greek style.
Theseus in the Minotaur Maze
Meet Theseus
Once upon a time, in the drama-filled halls of Crete, there’s this total hunk, Theseus, strutting around like he owns the place. He’s got this mission to slay the infamous Minotaur, which, let’s be real, is suicide mission vibes. You see, Crete’s King Minos is making Athens send seven guys and seven girls as snack food for this half-man, half-bull creature living in a labyrinth. Theseus finds out about the whole Minotaur situation and volunteers because why not add “monster slayer” to your resume?
A Thread of Hope and a Hint of Love
But enter our girl, Ariadne, princess of Crete, with a heart of gold and a serious crush on Mr. Hero Complex. Ariadne’s like, “Hey, you’re cute. Don’t die.” And gives him this ball of thread, literally the ancient equivalent of GPS so that he won’t get lost in the Minotaur Maze. Total genius move, right? Theseus is all grateful and smitten, or so we think, and he’s like, “Babe, you’re my savior; let’s run away together.”
They’re the IT couple of Ancient Greece for like, a hot minute.
Thank You, Next
Fast forward, Minotaur’s dead, and he’s able to navigate his way back out of its lair thanks to Ariadne. Now, they’re sailing away into the sunset. But hold your Pegasus. Plot twist! Theseus, our supposed knight in shining armor, pulls the most Regina George move ever. He dumps Ariadne on some random island while she’s sleeping. Like, “Thanks for the thread, babe, but I gotta go be king and stuff. Bye!” Not cool, Theseus.
And there’s Ariadne, waking up all alone on this deserted island, probably thinking, “Did I really just get ghosted in ancient Greece?” Yes, honey, you did. Theseus sailed off, leaving her stranded, and didn’t even have the decency to send a raven or something.
And why? The reasons are murkier than the River Styx. Some say the gods told him to ditch her (because apparently, the gods are the original Gossip Girls), while others think Theseus’s ego just couldn’t handle sharing the spotlight with a woman who, let’s face it, was the real MVP of the story.
All Hail King Theseus
However, if Chad here had an open line to the “gods,” it seems like they would have reminded him to change his ship’s sail from black to white to signal his victory. But, no. When his father, Aegean, sees the black sails on the horizon, he thinks his son is dead and throws himself into the sea (now called the Aegean Sea), and that’s how Theseus becomes king. Karma much?
In the end, Theseus uses his reign to make Athens great. He unifies the region, promotes democracy, and becomes a legendary ruler. But, like all Greek heroes, his life is a mix of triumphs and major oops moments. He’s part hero, part heartbreaker, and entirely too dramatic. But let’s face it, in Greek mythology, who isn’t?
Food For Thought
So, that’s the tea on Theseus. And what’s the takeaway from this Olympian-level drama? First, never trust a hero who can’t navigate without a piece of string. And second, Ariadne, girl, it’s like that old saying goes…never give the milk to a man who refuses to splurge on the cow, right?
Anyway, time for this Byrd to fly. Until next time...
XOXO Virginia
P.S... add an entry to your Burn Book by throwing shade on this coloring page.
CLICK THIS LINK TO DOWNLOAD PRINTABLE PDF: Minotaur Burn Page